If Canada Was Noticed
by RebelzHeart
Summary: If Canada was suddenly noticed, what would happen? Chaos, that's what! In which the countries argue over what poutine is, Canada gets a harem, and basically the world turns crazy. A series of one shots.
1. Everyone Would Argue

**A/N:** Warning, since this is a side story, it'll be updated slowly and infrequently. Mainly crack, but very short. For if you're bored.

Something strange had happened to the countries. Nobody was quite sure how it was possible, but somehow everyone started noticing him… and paying attention to him.

It all started when Canada peered slightly over America's shoulder at the battle plans that he was pointing at.

The Allies, who had been glaring at America for calling them support, all let out shouts of surprise as they leaped back in shock. " _Mon yeux_!" France cried out in shock. " _Amerique,_ since when did you have a double!?"

"It's not a double…" England murmured, shaking his head slightly as though he were shaking water out of his ears. He looked slightly confused, before he muttered, "His name is—Kanut? Canadia?—his name is _Canada!"_

Russia looked thoughtful. "Canada… Canada…" He muttered to himself, before snapping his fingers in realization. "The hockey country? Our competition in winter sports, right?"

"Canada's better, aru." China noted. "He won a lot of medals at the last winter Olympics."

"He did?" Russia looked slightly thoughtful. "Good for him, I guess. But I seem to remember I won a lot at the winter Olympics as well..."

"No, that was Canada, aru." China frowned slightly.

"I remember now!" France exclaimed, snapping his fingers in a mimic of Russia. "Canada's my cute little colony!"

"Not anymore." England recalled with a smirk. "Canada's _mines_ now."

An anger mark grew to life on France's forehead. " _Non,_ dear England, Canada takes after me very much. He eats many _French_ fries and French is his national language."

"In case you haven't noticed, France, Canada is _bilingual_ and the majority of him speaks _English_. And they're not French fries, you idiot, they're chips!"

"They're French fries." Canada muttered.

"Indeed they are." America agreed. "I, the hero, was the one who made them popular!"

The rest of the countries all ignored him.

And somehow, while they were arguing about Canada, they seemed for forget about him all over again…


	2. People Might Forget America

A strange incident occurred one day.

…Again.

Perhaps it was because America wasn't there, and nobody had much of an idea where to concentrate since he and his obnoxious declarations of being a hero and such weren't there to pummel. But nevertheless, something very strange happened that day.

Canada was noticed. And strangely enough, the other countries actually seemed to remember him, though they had shown no signs of it before today and their argument about who/what he was.

As he stepped into the room, they instantly looked at him expectantly. "Ah, it's Canada." England said with a slight nod, as though it were only to be expected.

" _Oui, oui."_ France waved his hand lazily, seeming unsurprised by America's double. "Take a seat. The idiot's gone today, so we actually have a chance of making progress—though I fear that even a cold will be so irritated it will run away from him."

"Want a sweet?" China offered.

Canada was stunned.

Maybe stunned wasn't a good enough description…

He dropped his bear, who sleepily called out a complaint.

Just then, America walked in…

And he wasn't even noticed.

Somehow Canada became the center of attention.

It was all very, very weird.

 **A/N:** I know, bad chapter again. In my defense, I can't do comedy. Why am I writing it? I wanted to…


	3. People Would Wonder About Poutine

It had all started when China had decided that they should have actual treats on Treat Tuesday (they had originally named it that to get all the treaties done on Tuesdays… not that they had ever actually done that). The countries decided that each week, someone different would bring in their nation's treats/food for lunch and dessert.

And this week was Canada's turn.

"What do we have today?" France asked excitedly as Canada walked into the room with a bag full of… well, something or the other.

Canada stared at him for a moment, before answering, "Poutine."

"Great!" Italy cheered. "Poutine sounds great—erm—what _is_ poutine, exactly, _Canadie?_ Is it a dessert or a lunch? Or is it both? Does it have spaghetti? I want spaghetti now…"

"How could a food be both lunch and dessert?" Germany demanded. "That's a nonsensical idea! It's impossible! Besides, _everyone_ knows that poutine is a delicacy… and Italy, your turn was _last week_." He blanched as his face suddenly lost all color. "I'm _never_ going to look at spaghetti the same way again.." He muttered under his breath.

"It's lunch." Canada answered. "But it tastes pretty good good… and it's not a delicacy."

England looked astounded. "Poutine is food?" He asked in surprise. "I thought it was one of those strange brand names that America decided was 'cool'." He snorted at that, ignoring America's indignant shouts of " _What do you mean that was sarcasm!? It was obviously England admiring my awesome taste!"._

" _Non, non_." France smirked "You all don't understand! Poutine is a fancy way to say _French Fries…_ they are proof that _Canadie_ still favors me most out of all of you!"

"Well… not exactly…" Canada squirmed.

"Stuuupid." Switzerland exclaimed. "It's a wonderful food that uses _cheese_ as it's main ingredient! Canada always knows the awesomeness of _my_ country."

America scowled. "Poutine is a _fast food_!" He argued. "McDonalds has it!"

"No, it's definitely a way to say French Fries!" France argued.

"Cheese!" Switzerland repeated.

"It's _fast food_!" America shouted.

"It's _all of the above_." Canada's soft voice cut in.

The three turned to stare at him blankly.

" _Quoi?"_ France demanded.

"Poutine is a mix between French fries, cheese, and gravy." Canada explained. "But it's also a fast food."

Needless to say, Canada was a strange country.


	4. He Might Get a Harem

It was a small, offhanded comment made while Canada was sick (the world war had made him withdrawn and depressed), and the countries were meeting.

And somehow… it had escalated.

"Canada-chan's kind of cute." Poland noted offhandedly.

And suddenly… everyone just sort of agreed.

"He's not really." Germany replied, most likely irritated at how the cross dresser (he claimed he wasn't—but _everyone_ knew that Poland was just an idiot), had so quickly changed the subject. _Not like Italy._ Everyone could tell he was thinking.

"Canada _is_ kind of cute." Italy agreed in that air headed fashion of his. "Don't you agree, Germany?"

Germany's stared at Italy for a moment in annoyance, before sighing grudgedly, "I guess he's kind of cute… but not really."

Poland smiled triumphantly while all the other countries gossiped about how Italy had Germany wrapped so perfectly around his little finger.

So, somehow, everyone was following Canada around like a lovesick puppy the next day, and Canada, while confused, didn't seem to be actively trying to stop it.

"Want some sweets, Canada-chan?" China offered.

"Oh, sure…" Canada took one and smiled as he popped it in his mouth. "Thank you."

Everyone else swooned.

"Your breasts are mine." Korea exclaimed.

"Oh…. No?" Canada replied in confusion. "they're mines."

"NOO!" America screamed in dramatic horror. "I SHALL PROTECT CANADA FROM ALL PERVERTS!"

"Oi, you're the most perverted of them all, you impure, vile creature!" England replied in disgust. "Dear Canada, come to your father…"

"Canada-chan…" Italy smiled slowly at Canada. "Want some pasta?"

"Y-you can have some of my sweets too, I guess." Germany offered in forced reluctance. "B-but only some, okay?"

And somehow… Canada had gotten a harem.

 **A/N:** This chapter was bad. Not gonna lie. But it's probably the last chapter for this fic… the end, I guess. It was fun, for about three chapters… yeah…

 **THE END**


End file.
